ive never had a friend before.sorry it is a long story...
i am severely disabled and have lived in residential care with 2 suport staff only with me (the 3 other residents have there own carer if any-some people shared staff), twenty four hours a day,so i have people with me all the time but not friends.the staff talk to each other but they dont try and interact with you.
i only ever had what i thought was one friend years ago on an autism forum,she woud ask me questions about my experiences every day,what meds i was on and any equipment i had to use, and she read a blog i used to write,id never had a friend so i thought thats what people do.she started posting the same things to what id told her as her experiences and i didnt recognise she had copied me- and i just thought 'wow, ive finaly found a friend, i can relate to her own experiences so much' ,she made multiple fake acounts to back herself up when bullying me,then under her aacount shed aske me how i was feeling. she told me very disturbing things every day,she made me feel worthless and a burden on my carers and family so i ended up with severe depresion but that specific residential home didnt realise i was being cyber bullied and only one of the staff had done any training on spotting bullying of severly autistic adults online.
it went on for so long (over 2 years) that my severe depresion had turned into ("severe MDD with pyschosis") as well which my GP told me and my family can happen if depresion isnt treated for a long time,she turned out to be a stalker to-following me across many forums and always bullying me to the point she ruined my life,i lost my care placement in the best residential home i had ever lived in,and got placed under 'section' into a hospital far away from my family; for adults with some level of intelectual disability and severe chalenging behavior that cant be managed in the comunity. i was sat on by 4 or 5 big men regulary to the point i coudnt breathe and worse still,they damaged my spine from 4 months of poor restraining and have left me in a wheelchair for the rest of my life.i also lost my pets because of this woman. ive had specialist counciling with a service for people who are autistic to any level and/or intelectualy disabled to any level. because of how complex my problems were and because im non verbal i was given double the amount of sessions and longer sessions than others who are fully verbal-i was prescribed it by the NHS as my usual intelectual disability specialised shrink was not understanding why i wasnt able to do adapted CBT -they throw CBT at everything in the UK.
i just wanted to have friends i coud chill with and talk to. i grew up very introverted but since 30 ive wanted friends. i tend to make a lot of friends at night clubs and warehouse parties,we will swap emails and ill lose the adress.
Anyway i forgot to say,i waffle far to much and for that i am sorry-im severly epilepptic which has damaged part of my brain and destroyed a lot of my memory.
